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Diwali, Family, and a Little Extra Planning

contributed by Pia Dorson, mom to Zahra (8, with PWS)

Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights, is one of the biggest celebrations for Hindus. It’s a time for family, prayer, lights, gifts, and, of course, plenty of food.

As an Indian-American mom of three, it’s important to me that my children grow up knowing and celebrating their Indian heritage. Having a child with Prader-Willi syndrome means we approach some parts of the celebration differently, but we’ve found ways to make it work for everyone.

In the weeks leading up to Diwali, we read books about the holiday and its stories of good triumphing over evil and light overcoming darkness. It helps the kids understand the meaning behind our traditions and gets them excited to celebrate them in real life.

On Diwali, we dress up and gather with my parents, my brother’s family, and all the grandchildren. Zahra especially loves getting dressed up and seeing everyone. We start with a puja, or prayer ceremony, and then walk throughout the house carrying lit diyas (small oil lamps, similar to candles). The children receive gifts, and we spend time together as a family. And then there’s the food!

Traditional Indian sweets are a big part of Diwali, although we also offer American sweets since those are what get the kids excited. Zahra gets her own special treat that works with her dietary needs, and she’s perfectly happy with that. The bigger challenge for us isn’t necessarily the sweets themselves, but the timing and structure of the gathering. Before every family celebration, we review the menu and schedule with whoever is hosting. What time are we eating? Are there appetizers, a main meal, and dessert? Can we avoid having too many separate eating occasions throughout the evening? Even though my parents and brother’s family have been doing this with us for years, we still have that conversation every single time. It gives me peace of mind knowing we’re all on the same page, but I’ve also found that it helps the hosts. They know what to expect, what works for Zahra, and can enjoy the celebration without worrying that they’ve overlooked something.

We also plan around Zahra’s energy level. She fatigues easily, so we generally don’t stay late. We’ve learned that it’s better to enjoy a few good hours together than try to stretch the evening too long. Or, sometimes, we just bring pajamas!

I think the most important thing we’ve learned is that making accommodations doesn’t have to mean giving up traditions. For us, it’s about communicating ahead of time, keeping expectations realistic, and making sure everyone can participate.

Diwali is about being together with family, celebrating our heritage, and passing those traditions on to the next generation. With some planning, Zahra gets to enjoy all of that right alongside her siblings and cousins.

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