Ask Nurse Lynn: Support During Divorce

Question:

Male, 14 years old, UPD subtype

We’re looking for resources/guidance on supporting our son as we also move toward separation/divorce and separate households. Thank you!

Nurse Lynn’s Response:

Separation or divorce is hard for any family, but when you’re parenting a child with special needs, it adds layers of emotional, logistical, and medical complexity that can feel overwhelming. It’s important to acknowledge how heavy this can be. Many families in the PWS community have walked this path, and while it is not easy, thoughtful planning and shared commitment can make a meaningful difference in your child’s stability and overall well-being.

A strong first step is ensuring that both adults have support. Individual therapy and, when possible, co-parenting counseling, can help each parent process grief, stress, and change while keeping the focus on long-term parenting goals. One of the most important protective factors for a child with PWS is maintaining a united front in co-parenting, even when the adult relationship is ending. This includes a shared commitment to keeping each other informed about medical care, school matters, therapies, behavioral changes, and social experiences. Consistency and predictability are especially important for children with PWS and can significantly reduce anxiety during transitions between households.

Food security is often the area where things begin to unravel during times of transition, particularly when a child is moving between two homes. Agreeing in advance on a uniform approach to diet, food access, and supervision, along with shared behavioral strategies and language, is critical. Children with PWS are extremely sensitive to mixed messages, and differences between households can unintentionally increase anxiety, food-seeking behaviors, and behavioral escalation. While it is completely valid that the adult relationship may not have worked out, what matters most now is the shared understanding that you remain equally committed to your child. When disagreements arise—and they will—returning to the table with the shared question of “What best supports our child’s health, safety, and emotional regulation?” can help guide the way forward. Expectations around screen time, sleep, school responsibilities, and behavior should be as aligned as possible to prevent confusion, testing, or escalation.

It is also especially important to consider what this transition means for your son, as adolescence is already a time of rapid emotional, cognitive, and physical change. Divorce can bring fears about stability, loyalty conflicts, and worries about what will change next. For a teenager with special needs, these concerns may be amplified by challenges with emotional regulation, anxiety, rigidity, or interpreting social dynamics. Clear, age-appropriate communication, reassurance about what will stay the same, and predictable routines across both households are critical. Providing a safe space—whether with a therapist, school counselor, or trusted adult—where he can talk through feelings without feeling responsible for either parent can be profoundly protective.

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